Gnephngh! (or some such gnarley expletive)

He just can't be!! Can he?? But then again I did shave 30 years off my mental age... and TMO before you comment, NO that does not result in either an imaginary number nor a negative one!!

If you have thus far avoided this accursed time eraser, congratulations.... NOW...RUN, RUN as fast as you can! Don't look back...

Especially if you are competitive, and like the idea of practising to get your mental age lower. OK Brain age isn't the same as Mental Age.... but you get my point.

Any how, back to the Gnephngh! .... My youngest just sent me a multimedia message to my mobile phone that I had to pick up at an O2 web site!!

Facts you need to know:
He has been consistently older than his actual age,
ME... YOUNGER!!!
You cannot get lower than 20,
So he wins!!! >:-(
I am a sore loser especially when I can't even play being 1,000's of miles from the accursed device.
(And NO there was not one at the Airport !!!)

My gallantry (I erased their scores and their real names to protect both their pride and their identity) got me to thinking about HWA (Her Without Acronym) and in a flash it came to me! SWDNFT, so now she has one! I'll give her about 10 minutes to guess it, she's that bright!

Galatte du Roi, Twelfth Night, or What You Will

Today is the day that the decorations come down!
SWHAND reliably informed me that we need to take them down on the Saturday which is after all the 12th day as they don't need to be down until the 12th night. Unfortunately she was WRONG! Happily our Xmas tree is fake. So I vote we can take it and the lights down late! Otherwise they need to stay up all year!
Ever since the unfortunate accident with the Xmas Tree and a saw, I haven't been allowed to have a real one. Just as well really as I don't have the requisite baby elephant to dispose of it! The human units have some quaint customs related to the end of the Christmas Period: from chasing and killing Wrens, Lewd behaviour on the Feast of Fools, to the rather more gruesome custom of the Celtic Queens who had their new consort kill her old one on the 12th Night. (Some let them last 7 years others just the one! But that's pagans for you!) Incidentally, anyone know where in the bible the three kings arrive? The closest I can get is three gifts delivered by an unspecified number of Zoroastrian sorcerers, wise in the ways of astrology. I have found at least 6 names for them...

Wonder if the Gremlins will strike during the dismantling phase? Watch this space...

unHappy New Year

We arrived home, in the first few hours of this New Year to find, despite the missing script for the murderer (or was that "ess")... the house tidy, no wine stains on the carpet (that I have yet found), and the washing up done! So why "unHappy " I hear you ask! Well, I was just showing HWWGTA the prior blog at 2:30 am and suddenly he clicked and nearly guessed his acronym, so very nearly that the one formerly known as SWWMD, now clearly known as SWHAND! said "surely that counts!". How little, does she know! I told him that he was close... what more does she want!

We had had a brilliant evening at the home of TVBNL, who regaled us with a wondrous recitation of the poem of the Magna Carta by Marriott Edgar. Given it has 19 stanzas, that is no mean achievement! He followed this up with a mean display of fireworks that lasted into the new year. He had the luck of the irish as the weather created a starry moonlit night for the fireworks despite raining like cats and dogs hours before and again as I type this blog. (I just love the English language, the word "mean" can mean so many things!)

TVBNLSSL, TSOAFGF and our very kind Teetotal driver (who did the desserts) had laid on a spread fit for a whole bevy of Kings. I have to admit to being very struck with the Lemon Possett which apparently is far simpler to make than its sublime taste and texture would suggest!

Happy New Year to my reader!

Dastardly Multi Letter Acronyms

My "reader" has given me clear feedback about my DMLA's, they are apparently too dastardly, despite the fact that I pepper clues to their meaning throughout a blog in which they are introduced, often just plain spelling them out! Well for most of them ,of course HWWGTA is not going to get any clues! None, NARDA, just ain't happenin'!

So I am going to use this Blog as the key for all those who do not have the desire to wrestle with them... of course I fear I am putting myself in mortal danger by publicly declaring an order to my Surrogate Daughters, but they were created in a very strict time dependant order, so hopefully they will not pillory me for being a clock watcher!

I will add DMLA's a few at a time and keep them in Alphabetical order for ease of reference.

D.M.L.A. KEY

AFGF A DMLA that for the time being shall remain lost in the history of the old millenium.

FftN A simple one to start including lower case to signify "little words", this one means "Family from the North". An indicator of the current geographic location of one of the Families mentioned in the Blog.

FftS Clearly the opposite of FftN

FfY this one means "Family from Yately". Comprising TREE, TGSWAES. TBA, *****, HWINKU.

HWA this one is a temporary one that means "Her Without Acronym".

HWINKU another silent DMLA disclosue {insert Evil Laugh here} which means "He Who Is Never Knowingly Uncool". You have to see, to believe!

HWWGTA this one gives me insane pleasure in silently publishing as it means "He Who Will Get This Acronym". He is getting closure, so by publishing I can at least claim he could have read it here!

SDO Ever feel like the sword of Damacles was suspended above you, this one stands for "Surrogate Daughter One", it in NO way is intended to rank by any means other than time-based, things like their downright cussedness, the power of their eminently powerful laser looks (although I can secretly disclose here that there have been not a few incidents that have been put down by officialdom as being caused by "Natural Disasters", when in fact it was simply me riling one of them a step too far!!) Not to mention things like Weight, Height Beauty etc., for clearly any SD of mine is perfection personified.

SDT I am simply not telling you!

SGM Speedy GrandMa after one GrandMa that we know, who "got done" for speeding which clearly scored her MANY brownie points with the young of the FftS and the FftN.

SWDNFT She Who *** Wait ... for .... it!

SWHWMD She WhoWants More Dogs The old DMLA for SWHAND

TBA "The B******** Archaelogist", She knows who she is, and her brothers will be making up words beginning with B until they find one that finally gets under her skin!

TGSWAES "The Good Samaritan With an Evil Streak", despite the fact that it sounds harsh, to those who don't know her, she knows I'm right! It also one of her most loveable aspects, if only she didn't keep it under control! I have to be carefull here as I can feel an urge to gush... Phew! Nearly complimented her, that was close!

TEIBF "The Ex Italian Boy Friend", Like you needed this one explained!!! Yeah right! (Though it turns out he wasn't as bright as I thought he was! Perhaps he was kinder and more generous than I can imagine.)

TREE "The Real Electronic Engineer, I knew as soon as I met, him many moons ago that he knew about electrons and I would always be feeling in the dark. Happily his IQ does n't stop him having flaws, like the urge to eat chips before arriving to dine.

TVBNL "The Very Bright Northern Lad" the father of AFGF (not sure I am ready to disclose that last Acronym.)

TVBNLSSL "The Very Bright Northern Lad's Sweet Southern Lass" the Mother of AFGF (still not sure I am ready to disclose that Acronym.) (This acronym care of SWHAND)

TMO "The Messy One" also known as the Trundling Grunt whose Blog is known as Secrets and Lies ((Magnificent indeed!!!))

WFBOJ "White Furry Bundle Of Bundle Joy" The old DMLA for the latest addition to the FftS household, selected before we knew better.

WFT "White Furry Terrorist, the more apposite DMLA for the latest addition to the FftS household.

***** DMLA Wildcard. Normally means that I have had to veto most of my DMLA's for the individual referred to using the wild card, or that I have not had that AHA! moment yet.

I wonder if this will appease my reader!?