Friday, February 15, 2008

Now you tell me!!!

Warning this blog deals with a subject that is sensitive to us gentile humans.

Drink Water! : I knew that
Eat lots of fruit: Got that too!
Roughage is good you: Yep!
even Wear Sunscreen, thanks to Baz Lurmann, but Baz you never shared with me the really important advice!

It came as a bolt from the blue! The the most important piece of advice that everyone should know is in plain Anglo-Saxon:
Shit Slowly and off the loo in less than a minute!
More specifically...
1) Relax, and Shit Gently! No forcing it!
and the crucial
2) Don't read on the loo after your done shitting!

With this advice one can avoid the early onset of piles or haemorrhoids

So to modify a loo poem I read many moons ago...

A poem from your future Piles
(Alternate Title Shit Slowly!)
If you want to shit with ease
Relax and give a gentle squeeze
then it will come out like toasted cheese
and leave the loo in less than a minute please!

And of course drinking water, eating fruit, and extra roughage all help avoid Constipation which is another common cause of piles, so follow that advice as well!

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Mark Forytarz is allegedly a swindler of a mentally damaged train driver!

Paul and Mark have decided to sue Google for continuing to surface an issue that initially surfaced in 2005, That is Google operated effectively as a Search Engine!

Paul and Mark musing to themsleves... "Wonder how to make this go away??"

"I know we'll sue Google"

I wonder if they really thought this would improve their image and reduce the noise!!!

Clearly they don't understand the internet!

Their details from the Castran Gilbert website. Golly Google took me to that too! It MUST be true that Google is conspiring against them!

Castran Gilbert
276 Toorak Road
South Yarra VIC 3141

Phone: 1300 657 343
Mark Forytarz

Click to contact agent

03 9827 1177

03 9826 8788

Mark Forytarz
Phone: 03 9827 1177
Mobile: 0407 766 308

Heck, people could even be SMSing their dislike of Mark's tactics as I type this blog!

On the other hand it could all be a nasty made up story against a poor innocent Estate Agent.

But the ABC News has the story too!

Poor Google, how can they remove all these new links!! Especially this one that quotes the individual that "actually defamed"? them!!