Friday, February 15, 2008

Now you tell me!!!

Warning this blog deals with a subject that is sensitive to us gentile humans.

Drink Water! : I knew that
Eat lots of fruit: Got that too!
Roughage is good you: Yep!
even Wear Sunscreen, thanks to Baz Lurmann, but Baz you never shared with me the really important advice!

It came as a bolt from the blue! The the most important piece of advice that everyone should know is in plain Anglo-Saxon:
Shit Slowly and off the loo in less than a minute!
More specifically...
1) Relax, and Shit Gently! No forcing it!
and the crucial
2) Don't read on the loo after your done shitting!

With this advice one can avoid the early onset of piles or haemorrhoids

So to modify a loo poem I read many moons ago...

A poem from your future Piles
(Alternate Title Shit Slowly!)
If you want to shit with ease
Relax and give a gentle squeeze
then it will come out like toasted cheese
and leave the loo in less than a minute please!

And of course drinking water, eating fruit, and extra roughage all help avoid Constipation which is another common cause of piles, so follow that advice as well!

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